Hare Krishna
I request you to bear with my birth process as it is long, complicated and was twice born. So Please tolerate.
‘What is death’- response to curiosity: Krishna guides you towards Him
It was during the night time in December 1991, I was 14 years old and my grandfather left this world on my lap. All my family members started loudly crying making me think, why are they crying….My grandfather was still on my lap. I slowly asked my mother, ‘ Why are you crying for grandpa, he is resting on my lap’. My mother took me and my younger sister to another room and told us not to come back and sleep. Next day, early morning, we saw our grandpa was taken to crematorium. Couriosity raised in my mind and I asked, Can I go. What happened next was beyond my imagination. I got a tight slap from my mother and told me to ‘SHUT UP!!’. That day, I never imagined that one day I would be asking this question to Gauranga prabhu and my life would change. But Krishna had his own plans.
Years went by and I almost forgot this incidence and continued my school life. Although, I scored 2nd rank in school every year, I couldn’t recollect the name of a medicine as simple as ‘crocin’ and my parents were worried about my future. They put me in typing class and in 11th std in tailoring class, hoping I would stand on my own feet. But to my surprise (as well as my family members’), I scored well in 12th and got admission in Grant Medical College, Mumbai. Never thought that it was Krishna’s plan and my pathapradarshak guru was waiting for me there.
In August 1995, on my 1st day of College, we all were made to sit(JUST SIT) next to a dead body (Called as cadaver in medical words). Next day, we were told to touch the parts of cadaver and on 3rd day, we were told to make a cut on the chest. It was like those three days, I went in my flashback of my Grandfather’s death. Later, I asked my colleague sitting next to me, what is the difference between living and dead body’. He just laughed and ignored me. After a few days, we were told to make a cut on the chest of the cadaver. My hands were shivering and a thought flew through my mind, ‘What if I get a slap if I hurt the cadaver?’. But colleague next to me held my hand and made a deep cut on the skin. ‘No blood, No slap!!!’. That day again, I asked my friend the same question, and he said, Don’t ask such foolish questions. I just couldn’t do anything but wait for the correct person to answer my question…..
My question was answered: A step towards Krishna Consciousness:
During my college days, I was told about one of my colleague, His name was Arup Swain(later Achyutananda das) who was introduced to me(by my friends) as a man not from this world. Being from a spiritual background, I had a lot of respect about him although, I never spoke with him.
After one year, in June 1996, I started my hostel life (feared of ragging in 1st year so joined hostel late) and Ganesh allowed me to stay in his room A-35. Surprisingly, I saw Achyutananda pr in A-34 just opposite to my room. I smiled and settled myself in A-35. Next day, I got a knock on the door. On opening the door, I saw the smiling face of Achyutananda pr who just handed me beads and a beadbag and taught me how to chant. I felt a huge level of respect and accepted the beads and agreed to start chanting one round. Next day, again a knock. Same Achyutananda pr, Same smile but he asked for Rs 20/-. It took me time to realize that its for yesterdays ‘gift’. I handed over the money with a heavy heart as I thought it was free.(But spiritual world nothing is free….I realized it later). Next day was Thursday, and I got a knock again on the door. Again to see Achyutananda pr. He graciously invited me for Thursday program in hostel followed by prasad. I thought prasad means something will be given on my hand. I used to get dinner from my home so I didn’t worried about it. My parents always taught me and my sister to respect sadhus during our young age. I reached before time and attended the session from the start. There I saw a young man in saffron(HG Gauranga prabhu), first time in my life. My grandmother always used to say, Bhagvad gita to be read during old age and here I saw infront of this young sadhu, the same book. I heard his lecture but cant recollect it as I was waiting for the lecture to end to ask my ‘years awaited’ queries. At the end of the session, Gauranga pr asked ‘Any queries’. Without hesitation, I raised my hand and asked ‘What is the difference between live body and dead body?’ Gauranga prabhus eyes glanced at me and with a smile he replied, you are a very intelligent boy and this is a very relevant question to be asked in the human form of life. I don’t remember his answer but I was happy that someone appreciated me for my question which many previously ignored or laughed at it.
Khichadi Prasadam: The permanent menu dish of my life
Then came another surprise, KHICHADI prasad….. I thought prasad will be some sweets or holy water but to my surprise, all were provided with plates and then came khichadi and Sukadi(a type of sweet). I took the first bite of khichadi and even today I cant forget that taste and even today I hanker for the ISKCON khichadi. [Later during 1999, when I was doing internship in Palghar along with Achyutananda prabhu and were travelling in TUMTUM(A 10 seater vehicle to travel in remote villages), we were softly chanting our rounds.Two old ladies were sitting next to us and were staring at us. One of the lady asked, are you from Hare Rama Hare Krishna temple? We nodded. She continued, how do you make that khichadi, I tried at my home but couldn’t get the same taste as that of temple khichadi. What do you add in it? I didn’t knew what to reply. But Achyutananda pr spontaneously replied,“Its Krishna’s love mixed in Khichadi”. She smiled and agreed to his reply. This was a memorable moment of my life about Khichadi]. I decided not to leave Khichadi in my life. But life has its own plan. During my college days, I weighed only 45 kg and look like a school boy. So, during my visit to my home town, I was introduced to some sadhu who gave jadi buti(Some herbs from jungle) and he assured that my weight will gain in a year provided you should not eat rice at all for the next one year. The first thing came in my mind was “ Oh no…. KHICHADI Prasadam…..” Thereafter, on that Thursday program, I reluctantly told Gauranga pr about my medicines and no for khichadi. He just smiled and gave me two Sukadi. I missed my khichadi prasadam, just in the hope to gain my weight(which never happened).
Round book of Krishna consciousness:
After regularly attending hostel program, One day, when I entered, I saw Gauranga pr having a book in his hand(appeared to be attendance book). But he started asking each one of us, how many rounds are you chanting now. When my turn came, I saw my name too in the book with numberical written as ‘2’. So he said, you are chanting ‘2’ rounds. That’s good, but now janmastami is coming. Don’t you think, Janmastami is approaching, you should give some gift to Krishna. I was taken aback. Since childhood, I was taught to ask from God, giving gift to God was something unheard of. So he said, add two rounds of chanting in your daily routine. Happily I agreed and started 4 rounds from the month of August 1996. It was a different feeling to see my name in the round book. For me, it appeared that Gauranga prabhu has registered me for the vaikuntha plane, I just need to stick with him and the devotees throughout my life. Later, he invited all of us for Janmastami festival in ISKCON temple, Grant Road.
My first visit to ISKCON, Chowpatty:
I spent almost 2 months chanting one round, and now two rounds. No one in my family knew except my younger sister. She just said, you do it but in limited way and don’t become brahmachari. It was august 1996 and I desired to visit ISKCON temple. My father used to work as clerk in railways, luckily on Sandhurst Road station which was next to my college. I went happily to meet my father to inform him about my first visit to ISKCON, Chowpatty. To my surprise, he started yelling at me saying that what is the need to go. All of his colleagues as well as the people standing on the railway ticket counter started looking at me. It was a mess. I just thought, am I doing anything wrong? [Later, my mother told me that whoever relatives used to visit Mumbai from our village, my father used to take them to ISKCON, Juhu temple without fail. I cant recollect my visit, but he surely would have taken us too.] Then after some time, he said, you can go but don’t mingle with the sadhus there as he feared that I may become brahmachari!!.
So, we all, Achyutananda prabhu, Sakshigopal pr…(others I cant recollect), went to the bus stand and boarded bus no.134 (The number which became a bridge between our material life and spiritual life) to Gamdevi and then by walk reached 7K.M.Munshi marg at Sri Sri Radha Gopinath Temple. It was ofcourse, day of Janmastami. We went to shoe stall. I was with Santosh Chakurkar (Then Sakshigopal das). After handing over the shoes at shoe stand, Sakshigopal asked me, “Do you know, who this person who took your shoes is?”. I nodded my head. He said, “ He is Krishnachandra prabhu, the MD of Mafatlal and Mafatlal company”. I was shocked, how come such a multimillionaire is doing such a menial task of working at a shoe stand. I felt huge respect for him as well as for the temple. As I entered the temple, I had beautiful darshan of Sri Sri Radha Gopinath. Then, for the first time I had darshan of H H Radhanath Swami Maharaj. My English vocabulary was poor but I loved attending and listening to him and then came the dancing part. I loved it very much to an extent that our clothes were soaked in our sweat(As we were doing it in hostel but with small group of friends). It was the most memorable day of my life. We were dancing and singing and listening lectures till 1am in the morning. Never have I seen such a beautiful celebration of Janmastami in my life. After 12 midnight, we also went down to have ‘charanamrita’. Till then, charanamrita for me was either milk or water but this was way beyond imagination. As medical students, we didn’t got charanamrita in palm of hand but completely filled earthen pots which were refilled too. We all just drank it one pot after another. Then late night, we left for the hostel satisfied to our heart content.
Blooped!!:
There is a famous saying, without association of devotees, there is a high risk of falldown which Srila Prabhupad used to say “Bloop”…. Just as water bubble on the surface of water is there and suddenly it disappeared, there is a ‘bloop’ sound. Same thing happened in my life. In October 1996, I was chanting 4 rounds and also associating with devotees. Post exam, December 1996, there was a leave of two months. Since my family didn’t knew about my connection with ISKCON, I didn’t took the beads at home. That was the biggest mistake of my life. Being away from devotees and no chanting at all, after my return, I was ‘blooped’. Later when I was back in Jan 1997, it was as if I entered a whole new material world. Second year MBBS is known for its peaceful studies and excessive enjoyment. I too got flown in the wave of IInd MBBS and (TRIED) enjoying material life. Bus as its known, once you get higher taste(spiritual life), you cannot get enjoyment in material world(tasteless).As I entered my third year, my hankering for enjoyment reached its peak. I stopped attending college and started experimenting with different activities like day dreaming, watching movies, sleeping etc. For many months, I was enjoying my day dreaming activity. Every day I was habitual to reach library at 9am and leave library at 2am in the morning. But now there was a twist. The page which I used to open at 9am used to remain same till 2am and I was day dreaming with open eyes. I visited multiple places in the world(actually universe too) but the end result was old age, and death…… Next day, again with a new start but the day used to end with getting old and dying. I couldnot understand why is this old age and death coming in my day dreaming(later I realized it was the seed sown by Gauranga prabhu and other devotees during their association in 1st year). I thought, rather than daydreaming, watching movies is the actual way of enjoyment. A month or more, I was watching movies for 20 hrs a day with only 4hrs of sleep but invain. Thereafter, I thought sleep is the best way for enjoyment. So I started sleeping 20 hours a day with break only for food and basic activities of bathing etc but that too turned out invain. I was devastated and was hankering for getting happiness. Then in May 1999, one of my friend told that drinking alcohol is the actual enjoyment. I decided that next day, I will go with him to start drinking beer and something happened that changed my life……
Krishna provides what we lack: The association…again
During the 2nd and 3rd year of my college life, devotees used to call me for program but I ignored it. To an extent, on Thursdays, when Gauranga prabhu used to visit hostel, at the entrance, if I saw him coming, I used to take ‘U’ turn and run back avoiding facing him. But Krishna had His own plan. I used to have food with two of my friends (one of them being Pradeep Kedar) daily. We had good discussions (only material). One day, there was a fight between other two friends and Pradeep Kedar left our team. So, I was having lunch as well as dinner with the remaining friend. The day when I decided to have beer next day, that night suddenly, my friend said to go and have food with Pradeep and leave him alone. I felt dejected but there was no other option. To my surprise, I found Pradeep having food with Sakshigopal das. From that day, our dinner was with Sakshigopal pr.
Déjà vu-Association does matter:
That was the month of May 1999, when I started having dinner with Sakshigopal pr and Pradeep Kedar. Sakshigopal pr had a unique habit of reading Srimad Bhagvatam during dinner time and discuss few points important with us. As he was reading from Srimad Bhagvatam, I was feeling that I have heard it somewhere. It was like Déjà vu feeling. I recalled all the time spent with Gauranga pr and JJ devotees. It was 19th May 1999, after dinner, sakshigopal was merciful to give me time till 2am discussing about krishna consciousness. At 2 am, I decided to start chanting 16 rounds from 20th May 1999. Sakshigopal said to start with 4 rounds and then increase. I humbly requested him that I did that 3 years back and failed as it will be difficult for me to increase from 4 rounds to 16 rounds and I have also wasted three years of my life being away from Krishna consciousness. He smiled and nodded his head. I went to sleep and woke up at 5am and did my first 16 rounds and still continued till today.
During our dinner time, a sentence deeply struck my heart which was told by my friend, Pradeep Kedar, “I will chant 16 rounds till the time I am in association of devotees i.e. you sakshigopal. Once I leave JJ, I may leave chanting as there will be no association.” I recalled that this was the same mistake I did in Nov 1996. That day itself, I took a vow to myself(other than the four vows we take): “Never leave association of devotees. “
Reunion with Gauranga prabhu:
It was 20th May 1999 when I started chanting 16 rounds and it was ‘Thursday’, the day when JJ hostel program occurred. Sakshigopal told me to attend the evening program. I hesitated thinking what will Gauranga prabhu say and what if he ask me about past 3 years. But still I went in evening in the room of Dinabandhu pr and after almost three years had the darshan of Gauranga pr. I also saw my classmates who were surprised as well as pleased to see me back. I couldn’t recollect the lecture but at the end of the session, Sakshigopal took me to Gauranga pr who immediately recognized me. Sakshigopal told him that I have started chanting 16 rounds from today. Without any wasting of time, he immediately embarced me. I still remember the big smile on his face and his warm and loving embrace. That was the day of my comeback in Krishna Consciousness and till today, I am indepted to the JJ devotees and Gauranga prabhu for getting me back in Krishna Consciousness.
Association, Association, Association…..The only way:
Every time, I had the risk of leaving association but Krishna and His devotees always helped me stay connected to devotees.
After my final exams, I had to face the same risk of leaving the association and go home without beads. But then, I had already taken a vow of never to leave association of devotees. I took a risk of lying to my family that I want to study for post graduate entrance examination and continued staying in the college. That was the month of December – Book distribution marathon. Since, I was waiting for my results, Gauranga prabhu permitted me to come to temple and serve in book godown. Those 15 days was the time when I stayed in temple from morning 5 am till night 9pm, serving as well as honoring prasadam.
After the results, we all had to start internship and devotees got busy. I didn’t wanted to go for posting without association. Fortunately, Achyutananda pr took rural posting first and I immediately joined him and stayed in his close association in Palghar for three months. I got connected to Palghar devotees(ISKCON family) and travelled by train along with Achyutanand pr to attend Thursday program at JJ Hospital.
Three months passed, Achyutanand pr decided to go to his hometown for externship. I was disturbed with fear of loosing association of devotees. Then, I got an idea of doing externship at Nashik. I asked Gauranga pr about the same. He happily told me to meet HG Paramhamsa pr who was preacher at Nashik and suggested me to stay in Nashik temple. I was overjoyed. When I met Paramhamsa pr, he was briefed by Gauranga pr and he welcomed me to stay in temple which was very near to Nashik Civil Hospital. Sankirtanras pr who was my senior was settled in Nasik and gave me his cycle to internal transport. I stayed for 9 months in the temple enjoying the association of so many beautiful devotees. Paramhamsa pr and Sachinandan pr took care of us like father and mother.
It was time to come back to Mumbai after completing internship and again….. risk of leaving association. During that time, I again asked to stay in JJ campus for entrance studies which my parents agreed. I continued association with JJ devotees but feared my future as there were no PG seats for many of us.
“I bless that you all will be happy”:
It was in the month of April/May 2001. Shyamlal pr, ShesaShayi pr, Achyutanand pr, SakshiGopal pr, Sharang Thakur pr, Venu Madhav pr, myself and few more…were sitting with a sad face for the Thursday programme. Gauranga prabhu sensed it and asked what happened. We shared our feelings that we don’t know what to do in the future after completing MBBS. That time, he gave a lecture full of laughter. He started that when we are in school, we feel; only when I pass 10th, I will be happy. But even after passing and few days of enjoyment, we say only if I pass my 12th and enter MBBS, I will be happy. But again, even after admission in MBBS, we see so many exams coming and we start pulling our hairs during each year with a feeling only if…… At the end, i.e. Final MBBS exam, we say only if I clear my MBBS, I will be in bliss. But in vain….Why you all are forgetting that you all are MBBS doctors. Then at the end of the programme, with a smile on his face, he closed his eyes and said “I bless that you all will be happy”. We were quiet relaxed after the session. To our surprise, within 3 months, all of us got PG seats. I thank Gauranga pr and still remember his blessings whenever I am in difficult situation.
Begging for your blessings:
In the last 25 years of my krishna consciousness, I never left the association of devotees, during internship and Medical Officer posting, with Achyutanand pr, during nasik internship, with Paramhansa prabhu and Sacinandan pr and many Nashik devotees, during my PG posting, Sukdev pr, AjayKrishna pr, Rupa Gaura pr, Janardhan keshav pr, Achyutanand pr and Yugavtar pr. After my education, I was fortunate to be councelle of Adikeshav Pr and Premlila mataji and was with Yugavatar pr at Seth GS Medical College and KEM Hospital, Mumbai for 16 long years and was married to Madhavi gopi dd who is by my side even today and protecting me never to get ‘blooped’ again.
I am begging at the lotus feet of all the vaishnavas that I should never ever leave the association of devotees till the last breath of my life.
Hare Krishna!!
Servant of Your servant
Satsvarupa das
Dr. Sunil Kuyare
Lab Director (Apoorva Diagnostic and Healthcare, Mira Road)
Ex- Assoc Prof, Seth GS Medical College and KEM Hospital, Mumbai.